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59217 No.10110  

Are any of you burnt out?

I can't seem to motivate myself to do any of my schoolwork until the absolute deadline, without doing the readings/homework. It's not interesting at all and has no relevance to any career that I may have or anything even tertiarily related to any of my skills. To be honest, I can hardly take it. I'd rather do literally anything. If I was a construction worker, I'd at least get some exercise, see the product of my labor, and see a livable paycheck at the end of the week. I could even work overtime and start saving.

Like many, when I my work isn't even painful enough to feel like a challenge or has nothing to be solved or nothing to be proud of (even the grades are irrelevant at this point), I just can never seem to motivate myself to do any of it until the last minute. Like... you remember in fight club, how the guy says that work is basically so monotonous, feminized, and disconnected from reality that it just sucks his soul right out? That's how school feels. I love the adrenaline of a long-distance (by my standards) jog, hell I'd even pay to be able to get dragged out to sea again, just for the sake of skin-in-the-game and a challenge. This dread (in the literal sense) just makes me wanna disappear. I watch youtube videos, browse websites, and do all this inane shit I don't care about, just to hide for seconds, hours, and days away from my Danaid-labor. Yeah, it's easy to imagine Sisyphus happy, but what about the Danaids? At least Sisyphus reaches the top.

I don't even see my irl friends very often anymore. One I considered my best friend and I haven't seen that person--not really--in ages. I wanna stop. I'd take $10/hour paving the sidewalks ffs. I really have no idea how I'm gonna finish my final projects. Oh people say "Don't worry, anon, you'll get it done! It will all be over soon." But it can't be over soon enough, and I don't know if I can hold out that long.

>> No.10121  

maybe just page 1 is fine, since no one checks it anyway

>> No.10172  


>> No.10182  
File: 1572837731443.png -(4654526 B, 2048x1365) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

A little-known fact among college-goers is that your degree doesn't decide your fate. If you hate what you're doing, graduate and do literally something else, follow what matters to you. If the work is drudgery, don't just escape in bursts, break the fuck out. If you're willing to sacrifice pay for it to be less soul-sucking then you can definitely find work that has meaning for you. Follow your heart, let your passions guide you. You can do this in undergrad by taking more non-major classes, leaving your shitty major altogether, or adding another major that your actually enjoy. After college you can go do something you like, whatever that is. If you can stay solvent and happy, then who gives a fuck. You have control over this part of your life, so take it! Start looking into things you actually want to do, pick up neat work on the weekends, take community college classes or what have you to get deeper into something you're passionate about.

I'm one of the lucky ones, I got out of an uninteresting major early and started doing something I love, but it's never too late. I'm dating one of the less lucky ones in that she graduated with a major she hated. Buw she has now struck out in another direction for what actually matters to her. It's not too late and it never is. In college I met so many cool and interesting people who got a degree in something and are now doing things they love that aren't even tangentially related.

One may imagine Sisyphus or the Danaids happy, but the joy of Odysseus requires no imagination. We don't have to be tragic characters, we are not only marble and sculptor but also story and author. A man cannot remake himself without hardship, but you know your work right now does not define you so why would it be remaking yourself? To choose a new direction for a story, you just need to put pen to paper. No pain or hardship required, just careful thought and planning.

Go get em, kouhai.

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